new start. all over again. what will I be this time?

It’s the first anniversary of my dengue bites. I know it’s an odd thing to acknowledge, but it was a wake up call for me. This last year and a bit has been full of ups and downs, and this was a pretty significant down. But, it forced me to really analyse my life: Who I am, what I want, where I want to be, who I want to be with. Of course, we don’t always get what we want, but that’s part of living. It hurts. As the Dread Pirate Roberts tells us: “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something”. This year has hurt, but I’ve still done a great deal.

The unicorn left, and while I was sad about it, I must admit, it was a relief. There was that gut feeling about things, and reality came knocking last Tuesday to remind me that I still exist in this world, a portent before the meeting, and now I’m back to the drawing board. It was an absolutely amazing experience. A little disappointed at the lack of feedback, but this seems to be a common thing, so I’m not too worried about it. Doors and windows, doors and windows…

I have finished my Old Port and my Bohemian Raglan – and they are beautiful. I’m halfway through my TdFKAL challenge – my ravello (and it is gorgeous), but it was put on hold because mum came to visit. This time, I wasn’t in hospital. And we painted my flat. And moved things around, and I fought a stubborn bookcase and won (not before some battle wounds though), and it all looks like mine now. Not tired and run down. But smart and clean. And full of books.

I’ve also managed to start doing sets of freestyle lengths (no “reset” sets with a kickboard) – which brings me great joy. As my physio said, there’s a very long way to go to strengthen the muscles and get them used to the movement again. And the muscle fatigue is really quite something – but oh! the freedom! – getting used to the body position again, working on the stroke and glide, counting the breaths. Yoga has been amazing for this. But it is just so good to be in the water. I’ve had a week off now, but I can’t wait to get back into it. Looking forward to working back in town at some point too – so I can duck in at lunch time and swim. It’s addictive you know?

I’m also continually stunned by just how wonderful the people I am privileged to call my friends are. I know some absolutely amazing people, and I adore them all to bits and pieces. I can never say thank you enough to any of them. I’m sure most are tired of it by now. But thanks guys – you are all incredible people. My month of being a hermit really made me miss my friends, and it has been great to catch up with them – singly, and in pairs.

And so, I have some knitting to catch up on, and a heater to zone out in front of. And another week of insanity and people ahead of me.

I’m about to start another adventure. I just don’t know what it is yet. I need to reorganise my life and my routine, and see what I can find around the corner.