Yarning the Bard

The Yarn Hamlet

I did love novelty yarn once.

Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.

You should not have believ’d me, for alpaca cannot so
inoculate our old acrylics but we shall relish of it. I lov’d it not.

I was the more deceiv’d.

Get thee to a LYS, why woulds’t thou be a breeder of
eyelash yarn scarves?

(By the ineffable Gidgetknits)

O, that this too too solid feathers would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a nasty plastic ball, or that the yarn goddess had not fix’d her canon ‘gainst novelty knitter slaughter… how weary, stale, flat and unprofitable to me seem all the entries in the show/fie on it, ah fie, tis an acrylic cesspit, that grows to take over the cabinets/greenhowe clowns do possess it merely…

(by the fantastic DrK, on what I can only begin to guess was the Sydney show…)

To yarn cake my recent stash additions… or not to yarn cake my recent stash additions… that is the conundrum. Or whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous yarn… or to take arms against a sea of skeins, and by succumbing… knit them.
To knit: to purl; Thrice more; and binding off to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that the FO is heir to. Tis a consummation devoutly to be wish’d!
To nupp, to entralac; to rib – perchance to cable: ay, there’s the graph; for in those detailed instructions, what complex lace may come when we have severely blocked our poor shawl, must give us pause…

(Gidgetknits et moi)

Alas, poor Yarncake. I knew it, Artificially Mythic. A tangle of infinite twist, of most excellent fibre, I have borne him on my needles a thousand times, and now, abhorred in my imagination it is!… Here hung those stitches that I have tinked I know not how oft. Where be your yarn overs now? your k2togs? your increases? your seamless construction, that allowed us to avoid seaming with delight? Not one now, to frog your too-tight tension? Now get you to my lady’s chamber, and tempt her, let her knit an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that.

(Gidgetknits et moi)


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