There are two people in the world that I will actually listen to before making any decisions. This doesn’t mean I will follow their recommendations, but I will listen.
Then, there is an honoured second level: these are people I usually just drag around on my madcap plans. Or tell them about what I may do, and do it anyway. They don’t sugarcoat things either, but we all just carry on regardless. Months may pass and it will be like no time at all when we catch up. I spent this past weekend with one of these honoured henchpeople to celebrate a birthday of another. These two sit at the top of level 2. They are very special people. And while the three of us do catch up often, this weekend has been the first time we were together in the same location for about 8 years. (It’s usually 2 of us in one place and the other on the phone).
It was an excellent weekend. Knitting, geeky movies, cocktails, coffee, French bakeries, (disappointing) yarn shops (I miss Mishi’s), and music. And reminiscing. Oh. And Tom Hiddleston. I love these two crazy cats. They keep me honest, and make me so thankful that our lives intersected at a hall of res, and a game of rugby. That game of rugby in 2002 we watched was the beginning of a great many things, and too many adventures. I’m so happy the two of them are now in the same city: makes visiting (and adventures) so much easier. They are like a balm to my soul. I don’t have to apologise about who I am or pretend to be something I’m not. And I’ve needed that.
The week then started with another adventure. You see, out of the blue, the perfect little red
headbonnet appeared at home, and she was acquired for me. On Monday, I finally got to meet her: my dear Amelia Pond.
She’s Amelia Pond because she is red. And she has a great thirst for adventure. She was completely unexpected, desired, but unanticipated. And I love her. We drove back to the capital on Tuesday.
I would have taken photos, but, you know, it was snowing, and I was concentrating on not sliding around. Never let it be said that I didn’t learn to drive in difficult conditions: my driving test took place during a storm, and my first long trip had ice, snow, snow flurries, snow showers, hail, rain and a howling gale. I covered all the bases. Still, I’m really looking forward to that defensive driving course I’m going to book.
But she has been an absolute revelation. And one step closer to achieving another goal on my bucketlist.
But Amelia, and things mentioned in previous posts have me thinking further, and a hot beverage/chocolate mousse with an incredibly talented lass really made me think about perception and action, and how being annoyed can be useful if harnessed properly.
If you can be annoyed about something, it means you recognise that something is wrong. This means you have the opportunity to change the situation or yourself so that the issue no longer annoys you. And then, I saw this on pinterest this afternoon. (I love pinterest):
It goes very nicely with a quote a wise man once said to me:
“The pursuit of perfection leads to destruction”*
Yoga has been so good for me in that respect. The idea of Santosha has struck a chord with me since I first stumbled upon it. Being happy where I am at this point, while experiencing and furthering who I can be. Slowing down and not being so harsh on myself for not being brilliant.
I called myself a conduit in a conversation last week. Somebody who identifies and encourages talent and goals in others. I know so many gifted people who I try to help achieve their dreams. Even in my professional life – this is what makes me happy. But I don’t see myself as anything more than that. Of course, the person I was having this conversation called my perception “sheepdip” (another word was used), but I maintain my stance on me.
It is a mile and a bit from being hellbent on perfection. Of being absolutely terrified of failure. And being afraid of being seen as a fraud – too many years in postgrad has a serious amount to answer for, psychologically.
Yes, I have worked very hard to get to where I am. But I am here. I have had the most amazing experiences and done wonderful things. And I will continue to have amazing experiences and do wonderful things. And dream big and take chances. But being a conduit puts a different lens on things. I have always preferred to work in the background, and putting a term to what I do gives better clarity to the journey I am taking.
So once again, time on my mat, and in my car, and with my friends has made me reflect on my life and my choices. And you know, despite a lot of c$@p, I haven’t turned out too badly. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. And I have people who won’t let me fade into the background.
Life is good. And my friends are great.